Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Exceptions part 600

Good grief! The "exceptions" are spinning out of control. No wonder I have such a hard time! April should have been a relatively easy month. There is my birthday and Easter. My birthday is free and I can exercise to handle Easter. But there's also the book club lunch, Catherine's graduation, cake with the university president, and now my co-worker is quitting so there will be another work potluck to wish him well! I think there's some other stuff too, but I can't remember it all just now. I can't skip any of these events and I don't WANT to skip the food. I'm going to need to step things up a bit if I want any freedom to splurge a little on my own terms. I'd like to save up for my popcorn/cheese fix, but it's going to be difficult with all this other stuff getting in the way!

I've decided that there is simply too much wonderful stuff in the world. I read about the 10 worst foods in the world, and they all sound delicious.

However, I'm still on track, and, more importantly, doing well psychologically. I stupidly got on the scale this morning (203). As usual, an infuriating experience, but the fury is much lessened today. I really probably am retaining water, gaining muscle and/or just generally re-adjusting. I'm also reminded (by a kindly nudge from my Heavenly Father) that even 3 pounds a month is terrific progress. And that three pounds is an overall measure--it might be two pounds one month, four pounds the next and so on. As I was walking today I was very aware of all the temptation around me. It's incredible--and oddly comforting. There's obviously nothing wrong with me for being tempted when the world is full of nothing but. It's hard to make good choices, but it's ok that it's hard. Anything worth doing is. I'll be ok.

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