It looks like my favorite blogger, Sean is back. He often inspires me. Right now he's making me feel a little better about this whole process. He's gained back some weight. I'm not glad he's gained it back, but it DOES help me feel better about just spinning my wheels the whole time I've been writing this blog. Sean has amazing strength of will. If HE finds this journey difficult, it IS difficult. And, he hasn't gained it all back--and neither have I! I've carried a 25 pound weight loss for almost 10 years now, and though I'm frustrated that I've stalled at this level, I should celebrate that success. Also, another blogger has her goal weight of 199. It's nice to know that somewhere out there there is someone who dreams about being where I am right now. It makes me want to count my blessings a little more. Also, all evidence to the contrary, I'm convinced that I've got hold of some real key truths about weight loss
Anyway, today is a low carb day. I've just spent over $10 at the little convenience store on campus to buy---a caffeine free diet coke, some gum and some jerky. Talk about expensive!!! I need to look at getting jerky from the dollar store more often. It's a real treat in every way. In my mind it's expensive so I rarely buy it---therefore it has that real extravagant aura about it. Plus it's rich tasting, long lasting and low calorie. And today, it's also low carb. More jerky will be in my life. It's calling to me right now in fact, but I'm not eating it. I'm remembering a little better today that just because today is not a calorie counted day, doesn't mean to stuff in as much as possible. I had one of Catherine's delicious souffles and three pieces of bacon for breakfast and I'm not hungry! I'm experiencing preparatory hunger--that is, I have to eat a really early lunch today and so I'm imagining I'll be hungry all afternoon, which means I'm imagining I want to eat now, even though I don't really. I'm determined to have the jerky whenever I want it, but not before I want it if that makes sense.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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