I FORGOT TO BRING THE BUFFALO SAUCE TO WORK!!! I hope my family saves me on this one!!! I'm really looking forward to lunch, and the sauce is key. I'm proud of myself for doing so well yesterday. I don't know why I like doing things like the flavor point. Maybe it's just that it's a vacation from responsibility and that makes up for the food. Not that the food was bad, it just wasn't what I wanted is all. Kudos to my family for eating the healthy dinner with me---fish, asparagus and oven fries. No way that would have been on my table 20 years ago! I feel slim and light today. Strongly tempted to get on the scale but I resisted. It would do no good If I find I've lost weight, I'd immediately self-sabotage. If not, I'd get mad and immediately self sabotage.
Today is 1900 cal. I'm excited. It's light and will move me forward, but with food that I really enjoy. Especially if my FAMILY BRINGS THE SAUCE!!!
I had to laugh a little at myself yesterday. I got a good lesson in the silliness of comparing myself to others. At the gym I saw a man probably in his mid sixties running flat out uphill on the treadmill. I had no idea those treadmills even inclined that high! I couldn't run that fast on flat ground with a tiger chasing me. I felt very small and humble doing my slow walk on a small incline. Talk about ego crushing. I came back and told my 20-something co-worker about it. She knew exactly who I was talking about and told me not to feel bad. He intimidates the young college runners too. I felt better. But isn't that silly to allow my self-esteem to be so affected? I see a stranger much more fit than I am, so I feel bad? Then I hear that others have a lower standard so I feel better? That's human, but it's also dumb. How about I just be proud of myself for being at the gym too and doing something positive?
Can't wait for lunch! Dave is bringing the sauce! Phew!!! I got another vindication yesterday that gentle and happy is the way to go for weight loss. Ali, the first female winner on the Biggest Loser, has come out and admitted to some weight gain. She still looks great at 167, but she confessed that she was at her winning weight of 122 for about 2 minutes. I like her a lot and hope she finds peace with being the healthy and beautiful person she is. But I'm becoming increasingly angry with shows like the Biggest Loser who do nothing to address the real issues of why a person is eating more than they should. Let alone helping them find ways to enjoy eating less and working out more. Ditto Weight Watchers. Sorry folks, giving people good healthier receipes is important, but goes nowhere close to solving the problem of addiction!
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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