Temptation is all around me today! I forgot I was judging the FBLA competition this morning. I'm really embarrassed. I'm not dressed professionally at all (plan was to hide in my office working all day), and I was late to boot. Anyway, they still gave me a cup with pens and candy in it. When I was done they pointed me toward the lunch buffet. Luckily, it was still quite early, and although I remembered the food from last year, I didn't actually go to see it so I was ok. At 1:30, and quite hungry I finished class and came to my office for lunch. There is a delicious looking piece of cheese pizza sitting in the kitchen. Good Grief!!
More and more and more I'm liking this plan that I'm on. If I were just trying to do Flavor Point for real---meaning forever, I would be profoundly unhappy about passing up the candy, the buffet and the pizza. But I'm not doing Flavor Point tomorrow and I'm not cheating either! Tomorrow is a vegetarian day. I'll do my best to stay in control, but I'll be having an artichoke cheese calzone from the Pie (a favorite!), possibly some cheesy bread, a little candy, some popcorn, a glass of milk with breakfast, and some olives on my salad. On second thought, maybe I'd better skip or modify the cheesy bread. But the point is, that I'm really and truly happy with Flavor Point today. It's given me three days of exceptionally nutritious, moderate eating on a much higher plane than I'm really ready for. That can only have blessed my body. Tomorrow I'll continue the effort to eat healthfully AND I'll be honoring my real desires and my real life (coworker party--I'm bringing cupcakes). I feel as though doing so much flavor point this week has been a boost both to my body and my ego. Also, it hasn't been so long (it's only 3 days after all!) that if I draw another FP slip tomorrow when I plan for next week it'll be just fine. I'm actually looking forward to BOTH another flavor point day AND having some cheese tomorrow. I wish I could be assured of some weight loss too, but that will be bonus if it happens. In fact, I'm sure, it won't happen as quickly as I want it too. But I'm convinced that I'm on the right track here. Something on a deep level is healing and learning to trust.
I'm in the mood to describe what I've been eating. Especially last night's soup. It will not become a family staple that's for sure. Onions sauteed in olive oil, spinach, peas, a few spices and mint. Mint was a bad idea. Run the whole mess through the blender and add a little buttermilk and heat up. Thank goodness I only made a 1/2 batch. I swear it grew too. After Dave and I had served ourselves, I swear there was more in the pot than before (we threw it out). It wasn't entirely horrible. Next time I pick mint day (hopefully not soon), I'll be ok with the soup (sans mint), but I suspect that I'll be eating it alone.
Today, is a fairly merciful flavor point day. Day 31--a mixed bag. Genuinely good french toast with strawberries for breakfast, yogurt with raisins and nuts for snack. a really good turkey sandwich for lunch. Extra good, because I got to use basil pesto. I'm still not used to having just one thing for lunch--like just a sandwich, no apple, no chips, no nothing. But I found out last summer that this kind of thing is common in China. They really do just order a hotdog or whatever over there and that's all. And they're skinny. Probably some kind of connection. Afternoon snack, chips and salsa--yea! Dinner of fish tacos will also be good, but I'm having to overcome my fish prejudice. It's only tilapia, and I've drowned it with so much lime and jalapenos and other things it should be fine. I'm not sure if it's the same receipe that Catherine found that I really liked, but it's close. This diverges from strict flavor point, but I'm saying it's ok, because it's equivalent calorically, and more importantly, helps move me in the direction of eating fish. I've brought it with me so I don't have to wait until 7:30 or 8 to eat tonight. Last night took some real doing cooking-wise but I think it's worth it.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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