Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Wednesday, August 22, 2012

512 Learning something?

Did I say yesterday that I was learning something here? i doesn't feel like it. I made a pig of myself last night. Well, maybe I have learned something about myself as an emotional eater--the number one emotion that triggers eating for me is celebration--whether that's joy or a nice day or just plain relief. Negative emotions shut me down. Weird, but I really don't eat in response to stress, sadness, anger or other negatives. But happiness?? That's different. To me, food is like salt, it just makes everything better--so if I'm already happy--I wan't to eat for sure!

Yesterday was a relief eat. Dave surpassed himself and went all the way to SLC to take my nephew back to school shopping. I couldn't go with (and didn't want to!) and it felt GREAT. I got my church work done and then I took myself out to Sizzler which was foolish financially as well as waist-wise. I ate WAY past the point of fullness--to the point where I came home and unbuttoned my pants which is rare behavior for me. The only good news here is that eating a large salad, a steak, potato, texas toast and a sundae hasn't always or even often, been enough to bring me to stomach-ache fullness. While it was still WAAAAAY too much food, I'm relieved that it felt like way too much. It's also been nice not to force myself back on a diet today. I ate a little bit for a late breakfast, and then I was hungry for lunch. I just wish I would hurry up and begin naturally undereating so my body could be brought back into line!

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