I can't say enough good things about 300poundsdown. She speaks to my heart--I love her faith and courage and boy, can she write! I've written about this before---heck, I've written about everything before--but I need to remind myself--I feel so blessed that my problem is a 50 pound problem, not a 300 pound problem. Because it so easily could be a 300 pound problem--ITS THE SAME PROBLEM!! The reason the 300 pound post resonates so well with me is that my thought processes are exactly the same. I wrestle with the same demons and fail over and over and over again for exactly the same reasons. So why am I "only" 50 pounds overweight when she was 300 pounds overweight and why are others, who are even less mentally balanced than I am, normal weight?
I don't know---but maybe partly it's just plain sheer luck, or good genes or being blessed. For whatever reason, I have a 50 pound trial in this life, others struggle with much heavier trials. This is true in every way--we all have our struggles, some are worse than others, we just have to trust that God knows what He's doing.
The cheering thing about this thought is that it lets me let go of some of the guilt. Why can't I control my weight? What's wrong with me? I would never think like that if I had cancer or broke my leg. I would probably do a lot of "why me?" whining, but I wouldn't blame myself. Weight seems as though it's different because it seems that I'm in control---in a sense I am, but the reasons for being overweight are complex and some at least really aren't my fault. I have a problem. So what? The only thing that's necessary is to learn to effectively deal with it--same as if I were born with only one arm. That would be too bad, but it needn't control or hamper my life. 1900 calories again today---this week's schedule makes me smile. I'm sure God helped me to pick out the slips this week.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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