Darn it! I did so well on Thursday. Yesterday had some problems. It was "not counting but in control." Lets see if I can learn something. Had a good breakfast, but for some reason was quite hungry around 9:30. Didn't want to eat a true snack because I guess I didn't think it would help fill me up enough and then I'd eat another snack and maybe another and be out of control. Result, I went to the gym hungry and did a really feeble work out.
What to learn? If I'm hungry I need to eat even if it's at 9:30 a.m. I need to work on letting go of "food hoarding". On weight watchers I really hated the feeling of being done for the day--probably because I was just barely hanging on to not starving. I'm doing a little better with the idea that it's ok to be done--probably because now I'm usually full. The problem is that I'm full because I've eaten a large amount of my calories in the evening specifically to avoid the "I'm done but I'm still hungry" feeling. But that needs to change--slowly. I need to experiement---if I'm hungry at 9:30 and I eat what I need, I'll probably be ok with less later. And if not.....ummmmm? I'm not sure. I guess I can deal with that when the time comes.
I kept trying. After my workout, I managed to only eat 1/2 of the sleeve of nuts because lunch was soon. I was solidly hungry for lunch, and lunch was plentiful, but not smart. A reasonable amount of leftover pizza, 100 cal popcorn and some poppers. Plenty of calories but not very filling. Forgot I'd also brought along a plum. I ate a couple of ferro rocher chocolates. Later, I wasn't starving but ate the crackers and laughing cow cheese. That was kind of problematic--because I ate them more because I could than because I felt I needed them.
Walked home. It was the opening ceremonies for the Olympics and I was all excited. The plan had been to have leftovers because we had pizza on Wednesday, but we didn't really have good leftovers. I wanted Greek food from the great place in the mall. I tried. They usually hand out enormous portions. Catherine and I agreed to split a plate. Uhhhhh. The take home last night wasn't that big. It's really good food and I didn't get nearly what I wanted of it. That's when I lost it. I popped a big bowl of popcorn and had it with a fat slice of cheese. Then I definitely felt full, but I made sure I got my share of the last of the brownies. Result---I feel irritated with myself AND now I have a real craving for the Greek food.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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