Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Friday, March 15, 2013

Careful...

Things have gone very well the past two days. On wednesday, I had over 900 calories left by dinner time. Yesterday I didn't count, but I did all right I think). I volunteered at a blood drive and didn't get dinner till late, I probably should have eaten the pretzels rather than the trail mix---but dinner surprised me. We got real pizza to celebrate pi day (March 14), and I only wanted 2 pieces, I also made myself a salad which I ate, but was really thinking that I didn't want to finish it (I did finish it, but maybe next time it will be easier to stop). Catherine came by at lunch and brought me 2 little sweet potato pies for pi day. I ate one and was happy. Today, I sense that if I don't count calories I will slide off into not trying at all. So, I will count. Breakfast--thin bagel w lite cream cheese--about 150 Milk--100 Pear--80 giradelli chocolate (oops) about 100. Total--430 Lunch will be a taco salad from upstairs---all eating out is 1500 cal That brings me to 1930 for the day. Realistically, I doubt I'll be able to eat only 270 cal for dinner, BUT--also realistically, I don't think the taco salad is quite 1500 calories. What this tells me is that I need to go as lightly as I can tonight. Tonight is NOT the night to eat giant desserts or giant portions. I will have had enough. What do I do now though? I'm genuinely hungry and lunch seems like a long time away. I have some cup of soup. I think I'll go ahead and eat that and take the edge off. I do believe in the intuitive eating idea that genuine hunger should be responded to.
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