Losing weight in spite of myself.

I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.



The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.

The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.

There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.

Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!







Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Things I do right

Good intuitive eating class yesterday. It gave me hope that I really am on a road that goes somewhere. So to help counteract that deep voice that says, "this is all well and fine, but you'll never really change," I'm going to write down as many evidences of my own success as I can think of as often as I can possibly remember to do it.

I love my walks to work, and I love to be active in general--going to Nashville showed me that my activity level is easily on par if not better than other skinnier women.

Yesterday I really wanted my healthy dinner of portobello mushrooms and watermelon. I didn't want dessert.

Today, I loved my breakfast of an eggwhite omelete with spinach and jalapeno and a laughing cow cheese, 2 slices of bacon, 2 slices of light toast and chocolate milk. I also loved my lunch of melted cheese on homemade wheat bread and a cabbage salad. I'm looking forward to a healthy dinner too---a new Hungry Girl receipe.

--I had a few setbacks---too many choc covered peanuts, and a little too much of the dessert bread somebody brought---but although I opened my pop-tart crisps, I discovered I didn't want them and put them back. Also yesterday, I had a lot of flame doritos, but looking back, I ate a really normal to small amount of them. I also said no to buying the Halloween Oreos--that one took a little will-power, but only a little--they're expensive, we didn't need them and I'll get them when we come back for Halloween. That didn't feel like a diet decision--more of a life decision.

Also, I acted on the thought to call my sister. Much better to just do it than to avoid it. I getting much better at facing avoidant behaviors. My instinct is still to run, but I am slowly improving.

So the verdice is YES!! I am far from a hopeless case!!!! Take that subconscious negative voice!

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