I can't believe how much just writing things down is helping! Everyone always says that by writing things down you're inclined to eat less because you don't want to admit how much you're eating. That doesn't work for me---maybe because I know that that's what it's supposed to be doing, so I'm obstinate and rebel. Besides, it doesn't bother me to acknowledge that I've eaten three pieces of cake. But what IS helping is actually physically seeing everything I'm eating---I can SEE that I'm having plenty, and since I'm not managing calories or anything else just now, I feel safer to not have to eat everything. That's the intuitive eating approach--but without the compulsive over-thinking that I was trying when I was really trying to do intuitive eating. I'm not reflecting on my level of fullness at every bite, or worrying about whether or not I really need that snack. I'm just enjoying the learning and it's having a really good effect on me!!!
Yesterday's breakfast:
2 strips of bacon, large glass of milk (the usual size is 8 oz), lite bagel with garden veggie cream cheese.
Exercise: walk to work and a REALLY good kettlebell workout. I'm proud of that workout. She strapped us to heart rate monitors and mine was right up there with the rest of the class--also, I was able to complete every repetition of every move and keep right up with the 20-somethings in the class. Great job--me!!
Snack: raw yam sticks
Lunch: pizza pocket, about 70 goldfish (55 is a serving), a "salad" made with a whole can of black beans, 1 tomato and about 1/3 cup of feta cheese with balsamic vinegar. I ate the whole thing and was still not overfull. This made me wonder about healthy fats. I don't think I'm getting enough. That blackbean salad should have had some olive oil, but I forgot. I'm a little afraid of adding extra fat to things because I already overeat on fatty foods, but not necessarily good fatty foods.
2 mini dark chocolates.
Dinner: Fancy omelette with fried potatoes. The omelette was two eggs and two egg whites with mushrooms, onions, red peppers, ham and cheese--that was mixed with the eggs, then inside the fold was two strips of bacon, some avocado and more cheese. In other words, not light. I aiming to copy a good restaurant omelette and I think I succeeded. Here's the exciting part--I stopped eating halfway through!!! Dinner has always been the most difficult meal for me to handle, but I realized that the omelette was huge and that I would be perfectly fine with half and also be able to take half for lunch the next day. So I stopped and it wasn't that big of a deal.
Dessert: 2 chocolate chip cookies. Knowing that I wanted and could have the cookies helped me to stop at dinner. Is it good to stop eating good food so I can eat junk? Welllll.......yes, I think so. It's never to "save room for, " because there is ALWAYS room for cookies. What I stopped was eating hundred of more calories for dinner in addition to the cookies which I would have had anyway.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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