Crud. Remembered to bring the bills but forgot my lunch. Luckily, we're between semesters so the burger places are closed. I went upstairs and got a chef's salad--yummy--with fat-free dressing--boring and unsatisfying. Oh well, it won't kill me. I also got a nutty granola bar and a banana to fill me up. Today is a long day. After work I'll walk home, and immediatley go visiting teaching, then straight to harp lesson (my VT is a talker) and hopefully have time to run to Subways and then go to a flash mob rehearsal--FUN!!! Tomorrow is the weekend thank goodness.
I'm still feeling a oppressed about Riley's baptism, but I think I'm making much more heavy weather out of it than necessary. Ultimatley, it's not even my decision. Thank goodness!! It will mean a hard phone call to the bishop and Christine and a hard email to Dad and that is all from my point of view. I don't like it, but I can do it. I feel as if I'm growing stronger emotionally. Being in the RS presidency is unbelievable. The burdens that people carry are amazing---nobody escapes it seems. I spoke to someone who teaches the lady whose son killed himself last Easter. Turns out she's the perfect person to understand because her sister had killed herself the year before--she recommended that another younger sister be called in to help because she seemed to connect well, probably because her father had killed himself when she was a teen. Good grief. There are only 114 sisters in the ward--three of them having a close connection with suicide seems an awfully high percentage to me. I just hope God isn't preparing me to deal with a suicide of a close person of my own.
Food-wise I'm still treading water. It's not my focus, but I've been on track anyway. I love that our bodies will respond even if our minds are elsewhere. I feel as heavy as a rock, and I probably will be up this week, but that's ok. I'm staying on course as best as I can and eventually it will show. I'll just be glad when the baptism is over with--which is a horrible way to feel about something that should be a happy occasion.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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