68
Still going strong I can't believe it! I'm also down another pound (195!)--but it's unofficial since it's only Tuesday, and what am I doing weighing in on a Tuesday anyway? Ok, I know. I was feeling really skinny. Sunday was fast Sunday and I was perfectly on plan yesterday--I went to SLC to visit Mom who is doing much much better. Still, going to SLC is always hard for me to do--the conversation with Dave on the way down didn't help matters any either--nothing awful, just going over various little problems. But I did well! I dealt with the emotions by flat out saying that I didn't want to talk anymore about depressing family subjects that we can't do anything about on the way home, and read a cheerful book out loud instead (Reading is a HUGE escape and pressure release for me). When we got home, even though it was 9:30 I did a few Just Dance dances to burn off stress and release some endorphins. Worked too---I felt better. I love that silly program! Unbelievably, I actually wound up with THREE extra points at the end of the day. I decided to roll them over rather than eat them.
It's just 13 pounds, but it makes SUCH a difference! All my clothes are loose. The really exciting thing is that the next 13 pounds will make even more of a difference! The smaller I get the more each pound will show.
On the other hand--right after Mom came out of surgery and was looking horrible--I had to wonder at our societies obsession with appearance. Nobody looks good after surgery--and everybody gets old and everybody dies. What a waste of time to worry so much about something that doesn't matter. And yet...it still matters to me. The noble part of me truly wants to achieve a mastery of self. The vain part of me just wants to watch Charlie's Angels and then go out and buy an outfit and feel as though I look great. Alas, the vain part is usually the louder voice--which might be ok if it was truly motivating, but it isn't. Oh well. My professor is pleased with my work on the Aruba powerpoint--and that is a MAJOR stressor that is beginning to lift. Once this thing is finished, I can relax and get excited about the trip! I AM excited! I'm going to ARUBA!!! I never thought my life would contain a trip to Aruba and I'm completely delighted. Actually, my life has contained so many wonderful experiences--trips to Disneyland, Germany, Washington, Portland, California, Japan, Mexico--a college education--a host of friends, a terrific family..and waaaay too many good restaraunts, to name just a few. :) These things always catch me by surprise because lack of money has always been a major theme as well. I've always worked--and not always at well paying jobs either. We're heavily in debt---and yet...great things just keep on coming. Life is very good.
Losing weight in spite of myself.
I began this blog in February 2011 as a way to help me not quit trying to lose weight, and to learn a few things. It's been an interesting and powerful experience. It certainly confirms what I've long suspected--that although I am a genuinely happy cheery person in the main, I am NOT a happy cheery dieter. I DETEST losing weight. I resent being overweight in the first place and I am a virtuoso in the art of self-sabotage. And YET--I'm doing it! I'm fighting and kicking and EATING all the way down, but the weight is finally going down. The plan I was following in February was a half-baked one largely based on wishful thinking. I gained a little weight and decided to get real. I knew I couldn't just join weightwatchers or count calories or do any one plan and expect to be successful. I decided if I was going to bother to make the effort to lose weight I was going to throw everything I could think of at the problem. And so I do. My real "Day One" for this blog is April 1, 2011. I joined weight watchers, I joined caloriecount.com (awesome website), I read the blog losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com religiously, I keep this blog faithfully, I joined the health programs sponsored by my insurance, I use the principles from overeater's anonymous, I use my church's 12 step program as well, I subscribe--and use--Healthy Cooking Magazine.
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
The result of all this? Painfully slow progress (About 20 lbs in 10 months). But it IS progress and like the little engine that could I keep on trying in my rebellious way. I have no intention of quitting. This is by far the longest sustained weight loss effort I've ever made in my life. Successful I think, because for the first in my life I've done this MY way--which I've discovered, involves a lot of pizza and restaraunt food. I'm convinced this is the only way to lose weight. For me it must be MY way. For you it MUST be YOUR way. Not weight watcher's way, not your doctor's way, but YOUR way. Any plan or idea I use is only a tool.
The latest plan to lose weight my way began on Oct 29, 2013. It really is my own crazy plan. As you'll see if you read that post. I've implemented the best ideas of all sorts of eating plans and thrown out the scale. A couple of months in and I'm definitely healthier. I'm actually enjoying myself. I won't weigh until April 1, 2014, so I'll see then if this works the way I hope it will.
There is no magic weight loss bullet. But there IS a great deal of magic in the discovery of what I can happily live with (very different from what weight watchers tells me I can happily live with) and still have the body and health I want.
Good luck to all of us on this journey. It's quite a trip!
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