WOW!!! I wasn't perfect yesterday---but I did make some good choices and I wasn't exhausted for my night class. I definitely need to write down my food and how I feel and see about some connections. Let's see what I remember about yesterday.
Breakfast--1 slice of Ezekiel bread (good stuff!), with organic peanut butter (which is about the only weird organic thing at home), blueberries with Splenda and milk.
Snack--some nuts, yam sticks
Lunch--one slice of steak pizza with pan crust (I love the pan crust at Papa Murphy's), cabbage salad with blue cheese and olives. 3 or 4 giradeli mini's.
Can't remember if I had any snacks between lunch and dinner.
Dinner, a turkey burger patty with mustard, a big serving of zuchinni fritters (homemade, baked not fried) and plain yogurt to dip them in. Caffeine free diet coke.
Snack at class. Some gummy penguins.
Felt GREAT. Teacher brought pizza to class, but I had just eaten and wasn't really interested, so I skipped it! I skipped pizza!!
Today, I had an awesome breakfast. Turns out those Eggo waffles that Dave bought are multi-grain, low sugar,perfectly fine to eat items!! 2 are 140 cal. I had two waffles, spread one thinly with Nutella, chopped up a banana, to put on that, topped it with the other waffle and sprayed lite whipped cream on top. Had it with milk and oj. Am not only full, but CONTENT. So much so that when I limped over to the new bakery (I'm having major knee issues and am a little out of commission just now), I didn't feel like buying anything---even though I've been craving dense chocolate chip cookies. It looks like a great little place and they serve soups and sandwiches too. I'm sure I'll be a frequent customer.
I don't know if I'm losing or gaining weight and I actually don't care much!! I feel good physically (except the knee) and at peace with food. THATS a new feeling. I'm just basking in the feeling.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
A gentle voice
Friday was a good day food-wise, but in the evening, I had pizza and salad and cookies. Probably too much of all. The thing that was different however, was my inner voice. That night, a very gentle voice just said something like, "It'll be awhile before you can handle pizza." That's all. No judgement, no harsh--"SO YOU BETTER QUIT EATING PIZZA!" or anything of the kind. Just a simple statement of fact., and my mind and body responded in a likewise gentle manner. Okay.
I feel really good about that. As I try to satisfy my body's needs by eating real food--the process should be gentle.
I love the idea of my mental responses---"I NEED garlic toast" being as valid an issue as my physical responses. The intuitive idea is that I can control my behavior---I might think I need the garlic toast, but I can choose whether or not to eat it. And that's mostly true. But WHY do I feel as though I need it so much? I love working on THAT problem, and being validated that wanting too much or the wrong foods, is as much worth healing as figuring out a food allergy.
I feel really good about that. As I try to satisfy my body's needs by eating real food--the process should be gentle.
I love the idea of my mental responses---"I NEED garlic toast" being as valid an issue as my physical responses. The intuitive idea is that I can control my behavior---I might think I need the garlic toast, but I can choose whether or not to eat it. And that's mostly true. But WHY do I feel as though I need it so much? I love working on THAT problem, and being validated that wanting too much or the wrong foods, is as much worth healing as figuring out a food allergy.
Friday, October 10, 2014
A little less?
Whoa!!!! I didn't finish my lunch and I don't want my after lunch chocolate. What's going on??? I almost can't comprehend not wanting chocolate. But ok!!!!
Last night I had to go to harp so I grabbed a few walnuts and a few (like 6) chocolate chips and ate them on the way. Then I came home and made dinner.
According to the book, that was a very smart thing to do. We've all heard that it takes 25 min or so for your body to start feeling full. Well, Dr. Oz suggests eating a small amount of some healthy fat like nuts about 25 min or so before a meal. Then when you eat you're not nearly as hungry and can eat for pleasure. He claims this will make you eat less. I'm not 100% sold on that. My problem IS that I eat for pleasure--and if I eat for pleasure rather than hunger there is literally no brake, because I'm ignoring physical cues.
However, having said that---it seems to work! I made a delicious creamy ravioli last night, but I didn't overeat. I even "forgot" to have the roll.
Today, for breakfast I had the one banana plus 2 egg pancakes, and a glass of milk. Our sugar-free syrup is actually pretty good! No HFCS--unlike the fully loaded Mrs. Butterworth. I gave the Mrs. Butterworth to a friend at work.
Spent the morning talking to the bankers at Chase--so it was little stressful. Came to work at nearly 11, and soon began munching on peanuts. I ate nearly the whole bag (280 cal). But when lunchtime came shortly after, I didn't even eat 1/2 of the ravioli and I only ate 1/2 of a roll. Suddenly, I just realized that I was full! I munched on a few yam sticks and packed my lunch away. And here I am! Not wanting chocolate---but thinking I might eat the plum I brought in a little while. If I feel like it later, I might finish the ravioli, and that's ok.
Last night I had to go to harp so I grabbed a few walnuts and a few (like 6) chocolate chips and ate them on the way. Then I came home and made dinner.
According to the book, that was a very smart thing to do. We've all heard that it takes 25 min or so for your body to start feeling full. Well, Dr. Oz suggests eating a small amount of some healthy fat like nuts about 25 min or so before a meal. Then when you eat you're not nearly as hungry and can eat for pleasure. He claims this will make you eat less. I'm not 100% sold on that. My problem IS that I eat for pleasure--and if I eat for pleasure rather than hunger there is literally no brake, because I'm ignoring physical cues.
However, having said that---it seems to work! I made a delicious creamy ravioli last night, but I didn't overeat. I even "forgot" to have the roll.
Today, for breakfast I had the one banana plus 2 egg pancakes, and a glass of milk. Our sugar-free syrup is actually pretty good! No HFCS--unlike the fully loaded Mrs. Butterworth. I gave the Mrs. Butterworth to a friend at work.
Spent the morning talking to the bankers at Chase--so it was little stressful. Came to work at nearly 11, and soon began munching on peanuts. I ate nearly the whole bag (280 cal). But when lunchtime came shortly after, I didn't even eat 1/2 of the ravioli and I only ate 1/2 of a roll. Suddenly, I just realized that I was full! I munched on a few yam sticks and packed my lunch away. And here I am! Not wanting chocolate---but thinking I might eat the plum I brought in a little while. If I feel like it later, I might finish the ravioli, and that's ok.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
No low fat for skinny people
I'm really liking this book!!! Whether the principles are true, or I'm just being brainwashed doesn't matter---there are changes for the better coming.
Of course first, I had to detour to the Pizza buffet. Dave wanted to go to support a fundraiser. I don't know if it was the book, or that I'm coming down with something, or that this buffet simply isn't as good as Cici's, but I found it VERY unsatisfying. I had a salad drowned in blue cheese dressing. Why do I think that's ok behavior? Especially when the dressing is mediocre? Then I had carbs, carbs and more carbs. And I didn't like it!! WEIRD!!! At one point I actually went back to the buffet and felt as if there wasn't any food there. Because in a way, there wasn't.
I'm also challenging my "auto amounts"--my phrase. I've been practicing eating smaller portions with the idea that I can have more in an hour if I want it. So far, I've been just as satisfied (at least physically) with one roll as with two.
Today, I asked my kettlebell class (full of skinny people) if they ate low-fat foods. 100% NO!!! They eat less of the real thing--and they can, because the real thing is more filling AND doesn't trigger more hunger signals. More than one told me that if I wanted sugar to go ahead and eat sugar---at least your body knows how to deal with that.
This is going to be a change. I just had Dave buy some lite Eggo Waffles and some toaster strudels, before I read the book. I figure as I eat through the stuff at home, I will slowly replace it with better things. Again, I don't know if this is real or I'm just being psyched out---but I bought two boxes of lite crumble bars. I had one after lunch and I really do think it's making me hungrier!
Also to try----eating off of a red plate. Someone in my class said that red signals stop, and that people ate 25 to 30 % less when they ate off of a red plate.
Hey, whatever it takes.
Of course first, I had to detour to the Pizza buffet. Dave wanted to go to support a fundraiser. I don't know if it was the book, or that I'm coming down with something, or that this buffet simply isn't as good as Cici's, but I found it VERY unsatisfying. I had a salad drowned in blue cheese dressing. Why do I think that's ok behavior? Especially when the dressing is mediocre? Then I had carbs, carbs and more carbs. And I didn't like it!! WEIRD!!! At one point I actually went back to the buffet and felt as if there wasn't any food there. Because in a way, there wasn't.
I'm also challenging my "auto amounts"--my phrase. I've been practicing eating smaller portions with the idea that I can have more in an hour if I want it. So far, I've been just as satisfied (at least physically) with one roll as with two.
Today, I asked my kettlebell class (full of skinny people) if they ate low-fat foods. 100% NO!!! They eat less of the real thing--and they can, because the real thing is more filling AND doesn't trigger more hunger signals. More than one told me that if I wanted sugar to go ahead and eat sugar---at least your body knows how to deal with that.
This is going to be a change. I just had Dave buy some lite Eggo Waffles and some toaster strudels, before I read the book. I figure as I eat through the stuff at home, I will slowly replace it with better things. Again, I don't know if this is real or I'm just being psyched out---but I bought two boxes of lite crumble bars. I had one after lunch and I really do think it's making me hungrier!
Also to try----eating off of a red plate. Someone in my class said that red signals stop, and that people ate 25 to 30 % less when they ate off of a red plate.
Hey, whatever it takes.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Leptin Resistant
I have a name!!! I've been wanting to read You on a Diet, by Dr. OZ for ages. Maybe it was even a divine prompting. I'm not sure, but I think it's really going to help. I knew the book tracked exactly what happens in your body when you eat something. I thought that was important--because I have real trouble believing that "just" one cookie or whatever really makes a difference because I don't see the bad results immediately.
But it DOES make a difference---anytime you eat anything, your body has to deal with it. Insulin and a host of other chemicals are produced, and if the food isn't good for you, it really does hurt your body.
One big culprit is High Frutose Corn Syrup. In the 1960's people ate ZERO of this stuff. Now each person averages 60 pounds a year!!! This is a real problem, because your body does not recognize HFCS as food, so it doesn't turn off hunger signals in response. A BIG place HFCS is found is in fat free foods and salad dressings.
Anyway, I knew about Leptin (the chemical that makes you feel full) and Grehlin (the chemical that makes you feel hungry). But I didn't know that the problem with so many foods---white flour, HFCS, junk food, trans fats etc was not just that they were empty calories, but that they made you even hungrier by eating them. THIS makes me want to make some changes. It also reminds me of the one time I was super successful without trying---when I was pregnant. My hormones went wild and I suddenly lost all desire for flour, sugar and salt--I dropped a TON of weight (scared the doctors, but I was fine).
Sometimes people who are super obese have a real genetic Leptin deficiency. But most of us have leptin levels that are just fine, but we're Leptin-resistant. That's me. Being leptin-resistant means that my brain sends the "I'm full" message just fine, but my body/mind doesn't like that message---I want more pizza, so I deliberately override the message and ask for more cookies. I think everybody overrides that message sometimes, but I do it habitually. PLUS, I'm always eating stuff that makes me even hungrier.
In the end--all this amounts to is the same old advice as always---lots of fruits and veggies, easy on the refined stuff. But knowing that certain foods are in a way anti-foods, I think will help. After all, I pretty much gave up fast foods when I realized that I giant meal at Arby's didn't even fill me up. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
But it DOES make a difference---anytime you eat anything, your body has to deal with it. Insulin and a host of other chemicals are produced, and if the food isn't good for you, it really does hurt your body.
One big culprit is High Frutose Corn Syrup. In the 1960's people ate ZERO of this stuff. Now each person averages 60 pounds a year!!! This is a real problem, because your body does not recognize HFCS as food, so it doesn't turn off hunger signals in response. A BIG place HFCS is found is in fat free foods and salad dressings.
Anyway, I knew about Leptin (the chemical that makes you feel full) and Grehlin (the chemical that makes you feel hungry). But I didn't know that the problem with so many foods---white flour, HFCS, junk food, trans fats etc was not just that they were empty calories, but that they made you even hungrier by eating them. THIS makes me want to make some changes. It also reminds me of the one time I was super successful without trying---when I was pregnant. My hormones went wild and I suddenly lost all desire for flour, sugar and salt--I dropped a TON of weight (scared the doctors, but I was fine).
Sometimes people who are super obese have a real genetic Leptin deficiency. But most of us have leptin levels that are just fine, but we're Leptin-resistant. That's me. Being leptin-resistant means that my brain sends the "I'm full" message just fine, but my body/mind doesn't like that message---I want more pizza, so I deliberately override the message and ask for more cookies. I think everybody overrides that message sometimes, but I do it habitually. PLUS, I'm always eating stuff that makes me even hungrier.
In the end--all this amounts to is the same old advice as always---lots of fruits and veggies, easy on the refined stuff. But knowing that certain foods are in a way anti-foods, I think will help. After all, I pretty much gave up fast foods when I realized that I giant meal at Arby's didn't even fill me up. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Feeling fat/thin
Brother. I've been feeling fat all weekend because my clothes were tight. Today I feel thin because my clothes are loose. Whatever!! I think overall I'm happy with last weekend. No doubt it was too much by way of calories etc, but it was what I know how to do and I didn't overdo what I knew--does that make sense? From here, I can learn to do better. One thing I learned (or began to) is that I can live without salad dressing. On Friday I got a slice of pizza and a ceasar salad. I forgot the packet of dressing and was too lazy to go back upstairs for it. I ate the salad dry and felt really good about it, because I knew the pizza and the breadstick already had plenty of calories, but without dressing the meal wasn't a total disaster. That night I didn't have pizza or go out, instead I had homemade crepes.
On Saturday, Dave was back and we went to Provo to get Catherine with the idea of going to the Renesannce festival at Thanksgiving Point. None of us had been before, but it was pouring rain so hard we had to pull off, so we had lunch at Zupas. I love their mushroom soup. We didn't go to the festival after all, instead we went to the dinosaur museum. Lots of fun! We were looking for a treat to eat, but the food was really boring. So we opted for ice-cream at the BYU creamery. I need to remember to order the child's scoop. The single scoop is ridiculously huge. Back home, I wanted something real, so I fixed us bacon, eggs and toast.
Yesterday was Dad's birthday. I instantly forgot about not needing dressing and glopped on the blue cheese. I think my real mistake there was 3 slices of garlic bread. I knew better. Was that justified because I was genuinely hungry? I dunno.
Today, I am STARVING. I don't know why. Maybe it's just hormones, but good grief!!! I've eaten plentifully and well! For breakfast I had a bowl of oatmeal with a whole peach and some nuts and a glass of milk. Snack was 1/2 sleeve of nuts and a big baggie of carrots. Lunch was a lean pocket sandwich, a whole can of progresso soup and a 100 cal bag of popcorn and 2 chocolates.
Snack again, because I'm starving is another whole sleeve of nuts. I have my class tonight and I can't wait to eat my meatloaf sandwich, olives and apple. I think I still have some yogurt in the fridge here. I'd better eat that too. Tomorrow I will not bring nuts. They are a good snack but not in huge quantities--today I've eaten about 400 cal in nuts alone. Too much!!!
On Saturday, Dave was back and we went to Provo to get Catherine with the idea of going to the Renesannce festival at Thanksgiving Point. None of us had been before, but it was pouring rain so hard we had to pull off, so we had lunch at Zupas. I love their mushroom soup. We didn't go to the festival after all, instead we went to the dinosaur museum. Lots of fun! We were looking for a treat to eat, but the food was really boring. So we opted for ice-cream at the BYU creamery. I need to remember to order the child's scoop. The single scoop is ridiculously huge. Back home, I wanted something real, so I fixed us bacon, eggs and toast.
Yesterday was Dad's birthday. I instantly forgot about not needing dressing and glopped on the blue cheese. I think my real mistake there was 3 slices of garlic bread. I knew better. Was that justified because I was genuinely hungry? I dunno.
Today, I am STARVING. I don't know why. Maybe it's just hormones, but good grief!!! I've eaten plentifully and well! For breakfast I had a bowl of oatmeal with a whole peach and some nuts and a glass of milk. Snack was 1/2 sleeve of nuts and a big baggie of carrots. Lunch was a lean pocket sandwich, a whole can of progresso soup and a 100 cal bag of popcorn and 2 chocolates.
Snack again, because I'm starving is another whole sleeve of nuts. I have my class tonight and I can't wait to eat my meatloaf sandwich, olives and apple. I think I still have some yogurt in the fridge here. I'd better eat that too. Tomorrow I will not bring nuts. They are a good snack but not in huge quantities--today I've eaten about 400 cal in nuts alone. Too much!!!
Friday, September 26, 2014
PF Changs
Breakfast:
Peach (super good! I want more!)
cottage cheese
Slice of olive loaf w butter
slice of cheddar cheese
Exercise: Kettle bells--good workout
Snacks: rest of sleeve of nuts, zuchinni slices, werthers caramel
Lunch: 2 slices olive loaf, 6 slices deli roast beef with ff cream cheese, 1/5 oz about of cheddar cheese, cup o soup, garden tomato and onions, chocolate square.
Dinner: Drove to Provo and took C to PF Changs. Yummy!!! We got the dinner for two which included soup. 6 wontons (my fav!), mongolian beef, spicy honey shrimp and dessert. The two of us had no problem polishing off every bite of that delicious dinner. The meal included dessert so we ordered the vanilla cream wonton dessert. Boy!! If I could stick to desserts of that size, I'd be thin in no time. Two TINY little wontons--smaller even than the normal sized appetizer wontons, served with two raspberries. They were good, but seriously?? We wanted a real dessert and the restaurant was in the mall, so we stopped and got a pumpkin carmel cinnabon to share. I very rarely eat cinnabon stuff because it is a calorie and artery disaster, but that was good.
If I could just limit myself to a real cheat meal every week, I'd be fine, but I get so easily derailed by outside events. This week was the buffet with Dad, PF Changs, and tomorrow's renasannce festival. That's too much, too fast!!
Today is difficult too--I got home so late last night that I didn't fix my lunch. I'll eat at the food court here--the rationale is vaguely that it is Friday, so I'm "supposed" to eat pizza, so it's ok that I eat at the food court? yea, doesn't make sense to me either.
Peach (super good! I want more!)
cottage cheese
Slice of olive loaf w butter
slice of cheddar cheese
Exercise: Kettle bells--good workout
Snacks: rest of sleeve of nuts, zuchinni slices, werthers caramel
Lunch: 2 slices olive loaf, 6 slices deli roast beef with ff cream cheese, 1/5 oz about of cheddar cheese, cup o soup, garden tomato and onions, chocolate square.
Dinner: Drove to Provo and took C to PF Changs. Yummy!!! We got the dinner for two which included soup. 6 wontons (my fav!), mongolian beef, spicy honey shrimp and dessert. The two of us had no problem polishing off every bite of that delicious dinner. The meal included dessert so we ordered the vanilla cream wonton dessert. Boy!! If I could stick to desserts of that size, I'd be thin in no time. Two TINY little wontons--smaller even than the normal sized appetizer wontons, served with two raspberries. They were good, but seriously?? We wanted a real dessert and the restaurant was in the mall, so we stopped and got a pumpkin carmel cinnabon to share. I very rarely eat cinnabon stuff because it is a calorie and artery disaster, but that was good.
If I could just limit myself to a real cheat meal every week, I'd be fine, but I get so easily derailed by outside events. This week was the buffet with Dad, PF Changs, and tomorrow's renasannce festival. That's too much, too fast!!
Today is difficult too--I got home so late last night that I didn't fix my lunch. I'll eat at the food court here--the rationale is vaguely that it is Friday, so I'm "supposed" to eat pizza, so it's ok that I eat at the food court? yea, doesn't make sense to me either.
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