I did not eat the sodexo cookie yesterday. Score one! Today's been kind of a fun food day, helped a lot because we're broke after Christmas. For breakfast I had some cream of wheat and blueberries--195 cal is all. When Dave came home form shopping I had some melba toast and laughing cow cheese. He wanted to get out of the house and take the train to SLC. So we packed a lunch and did. I had a banana on the way down, a ham and swiss sandwich while there, and a luna bar on the way home. Now I'm ready to make that yummy chicken salad, with baked chips and zero point queso dip. I love feeling like good food is ahead. Tomorrow will be good too. I'm fasting during the day, but I got shrimp to have with our steak and I'll make my favorite brownies.
Grateful today for:
The pioneers
missionaries
extravagent stores like Utah Woolen Mills
Blue skies (today was gray)
a warm house
a warm and comfy bed
a warm and comfy husband.
Saturday, January 10, 2015
Friday, January 9, 2015
Not so bad
Based soley on the scale I didn't get anywhere this week. I shouldn't have weighed in. But I'm not as bothered as I usually am. This week saw some good changes--I DID reign it in. I DID stick to the plan---still lots of carbs and poor choices, but lots more good choices too, overall much less sugar, a little more exercise and a trip to the doctor to look at my leg--MRI scheduled a week from tomorrow. That's all good and that's what counts.
I'm excited for this week. A friend sent a great looking salad with sricha-lime chicken and avocados, and I'm going to make the chinese zero point soup. Exercise is problematic--my leg really is hurt and my right hand does too which makes lifting things like kettlebells difficult. But really, it's the leg. Still, I'm able to walk--and did this morning. And I can ride the stationary bike and swim. I'm in the mood to plan next week, and I'm loving adding to my file of calorie planned meals. I added spaghetti and my cabbage salad staple last night. Tonight I'll look up and add some of my favorite Papa Murphys pizza.
The temptation of the moment is cookies. Sodexo--the WSU catering service brought us a bag. I want to save lots of calories for a pizza dinner though. Maybe I'll take one home. I love sugar cookies.
Grateful today for:
Holly at 300 pounds down
Dave and his humor
Horrific craft projects (crocheted shorts) to amuse me
weekends
Netflix
Painkillers
I'm excited for this week. A friend sent a great looking salad with sricha-lime chicken and avocados, and I'm going to make the chinese zero point soup. Exercise is problematic--my leg really is hurt and my right hand does too which makes lifting things like kettlebells difficult. But really, it's the leg. Still, I'm able to walk--and did this morning. And I can ride the stationary bike and swim. I'm in the mood to plan next week, and I'm loving adding to my file of calorie planned meals. I added spaghetti and my cabbage salad staple last night. Tonight I'll look up and add some of my favorite Papa Murphys pizza.
The temptation of the moment is cookies. Sodexo--the WSU catering service brought us a bag. I want to save lots of calories for a pizza dinner though. Maybe I'll take one home. I love sugar cookies.
Grateful today for:
Holly at 300 pounds down
Dave and his humor
Horrific craft projects (crocheted shorts) to amuse me
weekends
Netflix
Painkillers
Thursday, January 8, 2015
No. Not a good diet day
Yesterday was simply not a good diet day at all. Between the colon blow, the heavy lunch and two cookies after dinner even I can't justify to myself that I made good choices.
I wonder why I find it so difficult to say NO? Today we had an event at work, to my surprise, I was offered one of the lunches. I should have said no. I said yes. It was a ham sandwich and a cookie. Huh. Where were the chips? But just as well not to have them. I did take an honest look at the sandwich. I had planned to eat ham strata for 370 cal. In all honesty, I think the sandwich had about the same cal. So that was ok. I also warmed up some zero point soup and had an apple. All good. It was the cookie that did me in. In general, I call all cookies 120 cal. Not this one. This was a big one. I guess I'd better call it 220. I'd call it three hundred or even 350 except that last night I looked up mini-muffins. It seems to me that mini muffins are much less than half of a normal size muffin, but that is what the cookbook says. Ok. That means that Catherine's mini-muffins are going to count as 85 cal. Using that same reasoning the cookie I ate is only twice as big as a normal cookie? I mean, it wasn't one of those giant granny B type cookies, but it was big enough. Oh well. Enough. I had a white bread sandwich and a cookie. Both terrible choices, but I'll stay within the calorie count.
In an hour I'm going to have the doctor look at my leg. I hope she figures something out. Better put in some gratitude--I'm sounding pretty whiney.
That so many contributed bags for the youth conference today
That it went well
That I finally finished the bills
That so far we can stay on top of the bills
For funny face book things
For my new Karen Harper book
That I was able to go to college
That I have a supportive husband
That harp is at 5 tonight
For our fireplace
For my health
That some of those nursery kids have moved on!
That there are those who are willing and able to do jobs that I have zero desire to do---K-12 teacher, accountant, police, soldier
For my drawing book
That every day is new.
I wonder why I find it so difficult to say NO? Today we had an event at work, to my surprise, I was offered one of the lunches. I should have said no. I said yes. It was a ham sandwich and a cookie. Huh. Where were the chips? But just as well not to have them. I did take an honest look at the sandwich. I had planned to eat ham strata for 370 cal. In all honesty, I think the sandwich had about the same cal. So that was ok. I also warmed up some zero point soup and had an apple. All good. It was the cookie that did me in. In general, I call all cookies 120 cal. Not this one. This was a big one. I guess I'd better call it 220. I'd call it three hundred or even 350 except that last night I looked up mini-muffins. It seems to me that mini muffins are much less than half of a normal size muffin, but that is what the cookbook says. Ok. That means that Catherine's mini-muffins are going to count as 85 cal. Using that same reasoning the cookie I ate is only twice as big as a normal cookie? I mean, it wasn't one of those giant granny B type cookies, but it was big enough. Oh well. Enough. I had a white bread sandwich and a cookie. Both terrible choices, but I'll stay within the calorie count.
In an hour I'm going to have the doctor look at my leg. I hope she figures something out. Better put in some gratitude--I'm sounding pretty whiney.
That so many contributed bags for the youth conference today
That it went well
That I finally finished the bills
That so far we can stay on top of the bills
For funny face book things
For my new Karen Harper book
That I was able to go to college
That I have a supportive husband
That harp is at 5 tonight
For our fireplace
For my health
That some of those nursery kids have moved on!
That there are those who are willing and able to do jobs that I have zero desire to do---K-12 teacher, accountant, police, soldier
For my drawing book
That every day is new.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Colon Blow
Today is high fiber. I couldn't help myself. I HAD to start the day with a hearty bowl of Colon Blow. This is a hilarious cereal that we found at a candy store last Christmas. Since all three of us had colonoscopys last year, we had to buy it as a joke. The box amused us for all of that night---Catherine was less amused when she opened it, but even she had to admit that it was pretty funny. The cereal is just a normal granola, maybe a little worse, because it's loaded with mini chocolate chips. On a normal high fiber day, I would have made a different choice, but to actually have something called colon blow on hand on such a day was too much temptation to resist. Now that I think of it, I meant to have some blueberries with that---that really is high fiber. Darn it.
Yesterday ended up iffy. For our date night Dave took me to an Italian restaurant and then to a fun surfer looking place called Island...something for an ice-cream. Super cute place, we'll have to go back. Overall, I didn't do too badly, and put a substantial amount in the take home box. On the other hand, it was certainly more than the calories I had left. This week I'm willing to make a switch. Rather than Friday being my free day, I made yesterday my free day and Friday will be 1800 cal. It's all good--sort of.
The sort of is because of today. Yes, I'll try and eat high fiber stuff, but I'm also eating the leftover new year's wings and fabulous artichoke dip for lunch because I was planning to eat that on Friday and it isn't technically forbidden today. Dumb thinking, I know. But at least technically on track which I think is important.
It's warmer today. I had wellness time, so I walked for an hour. Thus earning myself 100 cal. AND I'll be able to walk home tonight. So that's good too.
I did get a hold of some index cards and a little box. I've already added a couple of breakfasts, one lunch and a dinner. I think it's going to be a great little tool. Dave is going to try to stay around 550 cal for meals plus a couple of light snacks. I told him to feel free to add to the file anytime. Hopefully it will help him too.
Yesterday ended up iffy. For our date night Dave took me to an Italian restaurant and then to a fun surfer looking place called Island...something for an ice-cream. Super cute place, we'll have to go back. Overall, I didn't do too badly, and put a substantial amount in the take home box. On the other hand, it was certainly more than the calories I had left. This week I'm willing to make a switch. Rather than Friday being my free day, I made yesterday my free day and Friday will be 1800 cal. It's all good--sort of.
The sort of is because of today. Yes, I'll try and eat high fiber stuff, but I'm also eating the leftover new year's wings and fabulous artichoke dip for lunch because I was planning to eat that on Friday and it isn't technically forbidden today. Dumb thinking, I know. But at least technically on track which I think is important.
It's warmer today. I had wellness time, so I walked for an hour. Thus earning myself 100 cal. AND I'll be able to walk home tonight. So that's good too.
I did get a hold of some index cards and a little box. I've already added a couple of breakfasts, one lunch and a dinner. I think it's going to be a great little tool. Dave is going to try to stay around 550 cal for meals plus a couple of light snacks. I told him to feel free to add to the file anytime. Hopefully it will help him too.
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Good first day
Hey, that ham strata was really good! Definitely a do again. I'm proud and glad that I went out of my way to measure and weigh the ingredients. Left to make it on my own I would easily have doubled the ham and tripled the cheese. As it was, it was very tasty and made huge portions for only 379 cal. I was tired last night, so I sat by the fire and ate the last Reeses Christmas tree (170 cal). That felt good too. Exercise is still down because it's been so cold, but it's warm enough today that I think I might walk tomorrow. I did at least ride the bike for 1/2 hour yesterday.
I'm still skittish about the zero point foods. Today I had blueberries for breakfast, peas and carrots with lunch, and because I was starving, a banana for a snack. All healthy, but that's about 200 cal worth of stuff. Today is 1800. I don't know. It would be no problem on maintenance. Even still, if it helps me stay on a better track, then it might be fine now.
So far today:
Breakfast: 1 slice homemade bread with I can't believe it's not buttter, blueberries and 1 cup milk, 2 slices of bacon.
Walk to and from dorms to pick up stuff (20 min)
Snack: banana
Lunch: Ham strata, peas and carrots. Dessert: 7 dk choc sugar almonds (SOOOO good).
Snack because it's freezing in here--25 cal hot chocolate.
Hopefully tonight, we'll drop by the store and pick up some index cards and a recipe file. I want to write down the calorie count of the meals that are common for me--like today's breakfast and tonight's spaghetti so I don't have to keep reinventing the calorie meal. It's ridiculous how often I have calculated out an omlette with laughing cow cheese.
I'm still skittish about the zero point foods. Today I had blueberries for breakfast, peas and carrots with lunch, and because I was starving, a banana for a snack. All healthy, but that's about 200 cal worth of stuff. Today is 1800. I don't know. It would be no problem on maintenance. Even still, if it helps me stay on a better track, then it might be fine now.
So far today:
Breakfast: 1 slice homemade bread with I can't believe it's not buttter, blueberries and 1 cup milk, 2 slices of bacon.
Walk to and from dorms to pick up stuff (20 min)
Snack: banana
Lunch: Ham strata, peas and carrots. Dessert: 7 dk choc sugar almonds (SOOOO good).
Snack because it's freezing in here--25 cal hot chocolate.
Hopefully tonight, we'll drop by the store and pick up some index cards and a recipe file. I want to write down the calorie count of the meals that are common for me--like today's breakfast and tonight's spaghetti so I don't have to keep reinventing the calorie meal. It's ridiculous how often I have calculated out an omlette with laughing cow cheese.
Monday, January 5, 2015
New Start---again
Here's to a new start---again. Not much excitement going on here, but a little more acceptance, that spinning my wheels isn't a total loss. I forgot to weigh myself today--which is probably a good thing. I did weigh myself Friday morning just to get the initial shock over with--207. That's both good and bad news. It's one pound shy of where I started with weight watchers. Hooray. I really showed them didn't I? But at least I didn't do the infamous--gain it all back and then some.
The very good news is that 207 is FAR better than I think I deserve. I was really out of control pretty much from Halloween onwards. Sometimes, I do love my body. God Bless it, it really does take almost as long to put weight on as it does to pull it off. I could be in much bigger trouble. I'm trying very hard not to fret too much about the number. I don't know what it means--did I gain muscle with kettlebell? Did I lose muscle now since I've been hurt? Am I just a giant marshmellow? Short of taking a body composition test (which I'd REALLY rather not do) who knows? I'll just keep trying. I think it's a good sign that I genuinely forgot to weigh this morning.
The bad news is that now I think I can get away with stuff. I ALWAYS think this when it comes to weight control. And the answer is---yes, and no. Yes, I can eat today and not pay a noticeable price. But no, I can't eat today and not pay ANY price. Stuff is going on internally, and it's going to manifest in scary ways. My leg and hand are really hurting for example--I don't know how much is due to inflammation, but I bet what I've been eating hasn't helped. So, try and try and try again.
Today is 1700 cal. I made some zero point soup (sort of) last night. I planned the menu, but I didn't plan the soup since I had Dave get the stuff for it a long time ago. His version of zero point soup has diced potatoes, which I think is not right. Also, we're out of tomatoes. It's ok, I just opened a can of chicken broth, green beans, carrots, diced potatos and mushrooms and heated that up---it's as flavorless as it sounds, I put in a couple chicken boullion cubes and some italian seasoning. I'm ok with this this week. Happily, I never have to eat it again if I don't want to. There are some other zero point soups that sound genuinely fabulous. I'm making the oriental one next week. I just wanted to have it on hand for when I struggle with hunger. As far as the zero point list goes, I think I'll modify it a little. I'm accepting it as zero--but if I have a day where I seem to be wolfing down fruits, I'll count some of them. Also, if I don't lose weight on this plan I'll have to count the fruits and veggie. But for now, I'm not worrying about the soup, or the clemetine, or celery I ate. Feels nice.
So today the menu looks like this:
Breakfast--two slices of Ezekiel bread with 2 tbls of organic peanut butter. 1 cup milk
Snack--clementine, some animal crackers.
Lunch---a roughly 300 cal portion of penne pasta--a WW recipe, but I wasn't on the wagon when I made it so it had extra cheese. 1 roughly 100 cal (I hope) portion of new Papa Murphy cheesy bread. 1 of Jennifer's marshmallow rice balls--I'm saying that's 50 cal. It's mostly marshmallow.
Tonight I'm making a yummy sounding "ham strata" receipe. I got a cooking light cookbook for Christmas and it's from there. It includes fontina cheese and sourdough bread so I'm hoping for great things.
It's too cold still to walk to work. So I'll be sure to do at least a 1/2 hour of something at home. I'm pretty happy with and today and this week--it's a gentle easing in. I'm too overfull to be hungry and today has a lot of carbs. This week also has a high fiber and a free day. I nearly put the free day back, but no. I think it will help me stick to things overall to nail into my head that food isn't going away.
A little thankfulness
That we got Catherine back to school allright
That she's worthy and able to be at BYU
animal crackers
That I can get to the doctor on Thursday
That I've been able to clear away a lot of work today
That Dave doesn't "help" around the house. He's fully my equal---superior actually.
The very good news is that 207 is FAR better than I think I deserve. I was really out of control pretty much from Halloween onwards. Sometimes, I do love my body. God Bless it, it really does take almost as long to put weight on as it does to pull it off. I could be in much bigger trouble. I'm trying very hard not to fret too much about the number. I don't know what it means--did I gain muscle with kettlebell? Did I lose muscle now since I've been hurt? Am I just a giant marshmellow? Short of taking a body composition test (which I'd REALLY rather not do) who knows? I'll just keep trying. I think it's a good sign that I genuinely forgot to weigh this morning.
The bad news is that now I think I can get away with stuff. I ALWAYS think this when it comes to weight control. And the answer is---yes, and no. Yes, I can eat today and not pay a noticeable price. But no, I can't eat today and not pay ANY price. Stuff is going on internally, and it's going to manifest in scary ways. My leg and hand are really hurting for example--I don't know how much is due to inflammation, but I bet what I've been eating hasn't helped. So, try and try and try again.
Today is 1700 cal. I made some zero point soup (sort of) last night. I planned the menu, but I didn't plan the soup since I had Dave get the stuff for it a long time ago. His version of zero point soup has diced potatoes, which I think is not right. Also, we're out of tomatoes. It's ok, I just opened a can of chicken broth, green beans, carrots, diced potatos and mushrooms and heated that up---it's as flavorless as it sounds, I put in a couple chicken boullion cubes and some italian seasoning. I'm ok with this this week. Happily, I never have to eat it again if I don't want to. There are some other zero point soups that sound genuinely fabulous. I'm making the oriental one next week. I just wanted to have it on hand for when I struggle with hunger. As far as the zero point list goes, I think I'll modify it a little. I'm accepting it as zero--but if I have a day where I seem to be wolfing down fruits, I'll count some of them. Also, if I don't lose weight on this plan I'll have to count the fruits and veggie. But for now, I'm not worrying about the soup, or the clemetine, or celery I ate. Feels nice.
So today the menu looks like this:
Breakfast--two slices of Ezekiel bread with 2 tbls of organic peanut butter. 1 cup milk
Snack--clementine, some animal crackers.
Lunch---a roughly 300 cal portion of penne pasta--a WW recipe, but I wasn't on the wagon when I made it so it had extra cheese. 1 roughly 100 cal (I hope) portion of new Papa Murphy cheesy bread. 1 of Jennifer's marshmallow rice balls--I'm saying that's 50 cal. It's mostly marshmallow.
Tonight I'm making a yummy sounding "ham strata" receipe. I got a cooking light cookbook for Christmas and it's from there. It includes fontina cheese and sourdough bread so I'm hoping for great things.
It's too cold still to walk to work. So I'll be sure to do at least a 1/2 hour of something at home. I'm pretty happy with and today and this week--it's a gentle easing in. I'm too overfull to be hungry and today has a lot of carbs. This week also has a high fiber and a free day. I nearly put the free day back, but no. I think it will help me stick to things overall to nail into my head that food isn't going away.
A little thankfulness
That we got Catherine back to school allright
That she's worthy and able to be at BYU
animal crackers
That I can get to the doctor on Thursday
That I've been able to clear away a lot of work today
That Dave doesn't "help" around the house. He's fully my equal---superior actually.
Friday, January 2, 2015
New Year 2015
Happy New Year!!
Here I am again, more or less in exactly the same place where I was three years ago when I started this blog. This could be super discouraging were it not for Hollie's insights and re-definition of success. I mean really. Here it is, the start of a New Year, and yes, I will re-attempt to re-gain some control and lose weight. But I have literally been doing this for the past 40 years and have NEVER gotten to goal weight, or even close. So, no. I don't really believe I'll make it this year--which makes it much harder to stick to any plan. After all, why deprive myself if failure is certain?
So, what if anything, have I accomplished besides driving myself crazy?
I weigh less than I did when we came back from Japan in 1990. While there I gained 30 pounds. Held onto that for about 10 years then dropped about 25 of those pounds, to put me where I am today. While I still weigh much too much, this is FAR better than it might be otherwise. Lots of my friends from high school have fallen to middle age spread. I haven't--sort of. I had middle-age spread in high school so I still look about the same. But that's good!! All this effort HAS STOPPED THE TRAIN WRECK. Yes, I'm overweight and frustrated, but not nearly so much as I might be otherwise. I've been able to stay ahead of both aging, and increased crazy amounts of food that are offered anywhere. This despite poly-cystic ovary syndrome which slows things down.
This gives me hope for the future at least in the next life. I don't know if I'll be resurrected with a perfect sized body, but even if not, perhaps I'll at least have the metabolism I used to have in my teens. This effort in my teens would have pulled the weight off. Maybe, if I keep trying, I'll be rewarded.
Also---I can't measure what diseases I've slown down or prevented. Or how much exercise has helped in so many ways. I know that the holiday overeating and pounds are REALLY bothering my leg, so perhaps I'm keeping myself just on the right side of not being disabled.
SO---well worth making the effort, even if I am a living White Queen, always running as fast as I can just to stay in the same place.
Also---I've been back reading this blog and my so-called "effort" really is pretty lame. I really should be a great deal more grateful that I don't weigh 300 pounds. I really don't know why I don't.
Some gratitude for today
That I don't have 6 cats
Great performances
That Dave and C put the tree away today
That Christmas will come again
fireworks
My cool new calendar
facebook
That tomorrow is payday
That tomorrow is always a new day.
Here I am again, more or less in exactly the same place where I was three years ago when I started this blog. This could be super discouraging were it not for Hollie's insights and re-definition of success. I mean really. Here it is, the start of a New Year, and yes, I will re-attempt to re-gain some control and lose weight. But I have literally been doing this for the past 40 years and have NEVER gotten to goal weight, or even close. So, no. I don't really believe I'll make it this year--which makes it much harder to stick to any plan. After all, why deprive myself if failure is certain?
So, what if anything, have I accomplished besides driving myself crazy?
I weigh less than I did when we came back from Japan in 1990. While there I gained 30 pounds. Held onto that for about 10 years then dropped about 25 of those pounds, to put me where I am today. While I still weigh much too much, this is FAR better than it might be otherwise. Lots of my friends from high school have fallen to middle age spread. I haven't--sort of. I had middle-age spread in high school so I still look about the same. But that's good!! All this effort HAS STOPPED THE TRAIN WRECK. Yes, I'm overweight and frustrated, but not nearly so much as I might be otherwise. I've been able to stay ahead of both aging, and increased crazy amounts of food that are offered anywhere. This despite poly-cystic ovary syndrome which slows things down.
This gives me hope for the future at least in the next life. I don't know if I'll be resurrected with a perfect sized body, but even if not, perhaps I'll at least have the metabolism I used to have in my teens. This effort in my teens would have pulled the weight off. Maybe, if I keep trying, I'll be rewarded.
Also---I can't measure what diseases I've slown down or prevented. Or how much exercise has helped in so many ways. I know that the holiday overeating and pounds are REALLY bothering my leg, so perhaps I'm keeping myself just on the right side of not being disabled.
SO---well worth making the effort, even if I am a living White Queen, always running as fast as I can just to stay in the same place.
Also---I've been back reading this blog and my so-called "effort" really is pretty lame. I really should be a great deal more grateful that I don't weigh 300 pounds. I really don't know why I don't.
Some gratitude for today
That I don't have 6 cats
Great performances
That Dave and C put the tree away today
That Christmas will come again
fireworks
My cool new calendar
That tomorrow is payday
That tomorrow is always a new day.
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